The other day when I was talking about making a list of what I'd do if I had a month to live, I failed to realize that my preacher wanted that list to include 25 things. Holy mackerel.
So here goes, in no particular order...
1. Take a drive. There's this place I go about an hour away from Mayberry that soothes my soul. I stumbled upon it by accident a few years ago after a horribly horrid breakup and since then, it's the perfect place to drop off the face of the earth. There is no cell phone coverage, nobody around there knows me, and I can just sit by myself to collect my thoughts. Pretty dadgum perfect.
2. Tell the nine most significant people in my life how much they have meant to me. Although, I'm still undecided on whether or not I'd tell them about my definitive expiration date. After all, once people know you won't be around much longer, they tend to throw you a pity fest and I don't want any part of that.
3. Love God. There are no words to describe my relationship with Him. It's a very personal and intimate thing which needs no explanation to the rest of the world. My only hope is to serve Him while I'm on this earth to the best of my ability. After all, it's by His grace that I'm here in the first place.
4. Dance on my tailgate. Sure, it sounds silly, but I suppose you'd have to know me pretty well to understand this one. It would involve a bonfire, a cooler of Mt. Dew, a handful of friends and a stereo cranked up with my favorite music blaring. If anything else, I want everybody to remember the way I was.
5. Right my wrongs. I'm not perfect - far from it, in fact. I'm human, just like you. I make mistakes and I've always had a knack for getting myself into sticky situations, some for the worse, some for the better. Nevertheless, I must make amends. I'd forgive an old friend who hurt my feelings, no matter how intentional she was; ask forgiveness for a lie I told; and try to be a better role model for those around me.
6. Bake, bake, bake. It's like a therapy. Strawberry cupcakes, oatmeal raisin cookies and red velvet cakes would be flying out of my kitchen. Sorry if you gain any weight.
7. Make a video for my nieces and nephew. They are young, (and one isn't even born yet) and I'd like them to know how much I wish I could be there to see their dance recitals, graduations, birthdays, and soccer games.
8. Drive to the big, big city on a Wednesday. Go downtown in my absolute favorite city, act like a local and see if I could meet anyone whose life I might help. You never know just where the people are who need you the most.
9. Go shooting with the big guns. Let's call in a few favors to a few friends and see how many rednecks I can beat at shooting skeet. Ok, they'll beat me but I'm sure we'll have a good time.
10. Read Revelation. That book has always scared me, but it's high time I sit down and soak it up, word for word. By now I'm probably getting pretty excited about seeing my dad again.
11. Sing Karaoke all night. I really don't care where and I don't care if anyone wants to join me, but I really, really just want to belt it without worrying if people even think its good. Just hand me the dadgum microphone.
Speaking of handing me a microphone,
12. I'd have a radio show. Well, maybe not, but I'd try my best. It's probably one of the biggest passions in my life and I wish I were still doing it some days, but as any radio veteran will tell you, the pay is crummy. Crummy pay doesn't get this girl out of her Momma's house. BUMMER!
13. But I REALLY love radio!! Yes, that's a two-pointer. Now someone hand me a microphone.
14. Eat sushi, again and again. Yes, I've had it before and quite possibly fell in love with a food I never imagined my taste buds would like. Maybe I'm not as country as originally thought, or perhaps my liberal arts secondary education has succeeded in making me a well rounded individual.
15. Spend hours with my grandmother talking about top secret information. She is like a vault. I'm scared to know who all's secrets she is keeping inside her, but she's so good at it. I could talk to her for hours upon hours about everything from politics, to music, to weaning calves. The woman is smart. End of story.
16. Record stories for my little sister and perhaps even nieces on dating and relationship advice. I've never been great at either one of those things, so it would end up being a list of what not to do and what signs to run from. (Hint, if he badmouths his momma, RUN!)
17. One last roadtrip to the beach. It doesn't have to be for an entire week, I just want to make memories with my family that they can treasure for the rest of their lives. Oh, who am I kidding?! I just want to die with a tan on my pasty face since I don't have to worry about skin cancer by that point.
18. Meet with the mortician. As I've told you, I've known him my entire life and still haven't settled on a coffin. And I'd also like to run over the game plan with him about various aspects of a funeral. Yes, FUNERAL. Not "celebration of life" like people are doing nowadays. I'm old school like that.
19. Find a good thunderstorm. Who wants to join me and dance in a really good rain with the thunder rumbling and the sky acting like our own strobe light? Especially if it was about 65 degrees. That's worth getting my hair messed up.
20. One last kiss. I can't lie or pretend this one never crossed my mind, because it was actually closer to the top of the list. Lets catch a guy off guard and lay one on him. I've wanted to but never had the guts, even though the opportunity has been there. I only need an extra gargle of Listerine and the lucky guy.
21. Write a few letters. These would be for the kids in my Sunday School class. Right now, they're fifth and sixth graders, but I'd write these for them to open when they go to high school. It's a rough time on any teenager and I just want them to know that their church is there to help lead them down the right paths.
22. Get a pedicure. I'm going out with bright pink toes. That's all I have to say about that.
23. Drive a combine to work. Who wants to work? This girl! Can't you just see my driving down a brick road in a new John Deere S690? It could possibly make it in Mayberry's weekly newspaper and the thrice daily local news on the radio.
However, after that stint, then I'd have to do this...
24. Quit my job. I just realized I forgot this one. I wouldn't quit because I hate it (because I really do enjoy going to work in the mornings), rather, I'd leave so I'd have time to do all this stuff I want to do and spend time with the people I want to cherish.
How am I at the end already?
25. Spend a day on the river. Borrow a friend's boat, back it in the water and have a good time. Kinda like the tailgate party I mentioned earlier, but obviously without the bonfire and tailgate. Or maybe we could go down to the lake and just take it easy as we go wherever the current takes us.
That wasn't awkward at all, right?
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
One month and a Bucket
What would you do if (for whatever reason) you had only one month to live?
Who would you spend your time with?
What would you tell your best friends?
Where could people find you?
Would you finally make that apology you'd been putting off?
Would you tell people you loved them?
Could you forgive those who have wronged you?
Would you embrace the time you did have or attempt to hide from your definitive mortality?
Last Sunday, my pastor began a sermon series based on the book "One Month to Live" by Kerry & Chris Shook. He encouraged us to live life for the Lord with no regrets. Don't say "oh, I'll go back to church when I get retire." Leave the idea of your "busy life" behind because God never has been and never will be too busy for you.
During the message, he challenged the congregation to make a list, a real, written list of what we would do if we had only one month to live.
A slight smile made its way across my face during the sermon because, for a brief moment, I felt almost normal. The idea of death has been floating in my head for years, and as I've told you before, other people think it's weird. (But if you ask me, I'm just prepared.) It worries my mother and made my dad roll his eyes during his cancer treatments. But all of the sudden I'm able to put on paper the things I would do. A bucket list, so to speak.
Now I'm sure this is where most people would want to skydive, mountain climb or take off on a cruise. But if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm not most people. Although I've never flown, the idea of soaring 35 thousand feet above the ground at 500 miles an hour scares me half to death. If a situation ever arises that I MUST hop on a plane, you'll find me crouched in the corner sucking my thumb and rocking back and forth in a semi-comatose state. As far as mountain climbing goes, I don't have the upper body strength or harness to take off up a mountain, and as for that cruise, 7 days stuck on a boat would leave me with sea sickness and three weeks instead of four. At least my math skills haven't failed yet.
*Disclaimer: for the record: I hope I don't perish anytime soon but if my time should come, you shouldn't worry about me and I'll see you on the other side.*
Now, on to the good stuff... A glimpse of what I would like to do should I have only one month to live. (I reserve the right to change this as I see fit, which could be daily.)
First, I would try my best to right the many, many wrongs accumulated throughout the course of my relatively short-lived life. I'd apologize to the ones I've let down along the way and give it my best attempt at making amends. A couple of people wouldn't give me the time of day, but you can't blame a girl for trying.
I'd also want to try to convey to those closest to me just how much I care for them. That L-word and I don't exactly get along and I'm not sure why. But my family and my best friends would have no doubt when it comes to the immense impact they have had on my life. They make me want to be a better person whether or not they realize it.
In conjunction with this, I'd have to spend more time with my grandparents. My grandfather is my Superman and due to his health, the family had to make the very hard decision of moving him into a rest home, so I don't see him every day like I do his wife. He is full of funny stories from his childhood and life lessons he's learned the hard way. Then there's my grandma. To say she's my hero is a complete understatement. Oh, and her cooking....MMMMM!!
Next, I'd have to have a little bit of fun with a little less seriousness. It involves private property, off road vehicles and a little bit of dirt. And in the words of Forrest Gump, "that's all I have to say about that."
And on a completely, possibly off the wall note (would you expect less from me?) I wanna drive a combine to work. Can't you just see my driving down a brick road in a new John Deere S690? It could possibly make it in Mayberry's weekly newspaper and the thrice daily local news on the radio. Doesn't that sound like a blast?!
Who would you spend your time with?
What would you tell your best friends?
Where could people find you?
Would you finally make that apology you'd been putting off?
Would you tell people you loved them?
Could you forgive those who have wronged you?
Would you embrace the time you did have or attempt to hide from your definitive mortality?
Last Sunday, my pastor began a sermon series based on the book "One Month to Live" by Kerry & Chris Shook. He encouraged us to live life for the Lord with no regrets. Don't say "oh, I'll go back to church when I get retire." Leave the idea of your "busy life" behind because God never has been and never will be too busy for you.
During the message, he challenged the congregation to make a list, a real, written list of what we would do if we had only one month to live.
A slight smile made its way across my face during the sermon because, for a brief moment, I felt almost normal. The idea of death has been floating in my head for years, and as I've told you before, other people think it's weird. (But if you ask me, I'm just prepared.) It worries my mother and made my dad roll his eyes during his cancer treatments. But all of the sudden I'm able to put on paper the things I would do. A bucket list, so to speak.
Now I'm sure this is where most people would want to skydive, mountain climb or take off on a cruise. But if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm not most people. Although I've never flown, the idea of soaring 35 thousand feet above the ground at 500 miles an hour scares me half to death. If a situation ever arises that I MUST hop on a plane, you'll find me crouched in the corner sucking my thumb and rocking back and forth in a semi-comatose state. As far as mountain climbing goes, I don't have the upper body strength or harness to take off up a mountain, and as for that cruise, 7 days stuck on a boat would leave me with sea sickness and three weeks instead of four. At least my math skills haven't failed yet.
*Disclaimer: for the record: I hope I don't perish anytime soon but if my time should come, you shouldn't worry about me and I'll see you on the other side.*
Now, on to the good stuff... A glimpse of what I would like to do should I have only one month to live. (I reserve the right to change this as I see fit, which could be daily.)
First, I would try my best to right the many, many wrongs accumulated throughout the course of my relatively short-lived life. I'd apologize to the ones I've let down along the way and give it my best attempt at making amends. A couple of people wouldn't give me the time of day, but you can't blame a girl for trying.
I'd also want to try to convey to those closest to me just how much I care for them. That L-word and I don't exactly get along and I'm not sure why. But my family and my best friends would have no doubt when it comes to the immense impact they have had on my life. They make me want to be a better person whether or not they realize it.
In conjunction with this, I'd have to spend more time with my grandparents. My grandfather is my Superman and due to his health, the family had to make the very hard decision of moving him into a rest home, so I don't see him every day like I do his wife. He is full of funny stories from his childhood and life lessons he's learned the hard way. Then there's my grandma. To say she's my hero is a complete understatement. Oh, and her cooking....MMMMM!!
Next, I'd have to have a little bit of fun with a little less seriousness. It involves private property, off road vehicles and a little bit of dirt. And in the words of Forrest Gump, "that's all I have to say about that."
And on a completely, possibly off the wall note (would you expect less from me?) I wanna drive a combine to work. Can't you just see my driving down a brick road in a new John Deere S690? It could possibly make it in Mayberry's weekly newspaper and the thrice daily local news on the radio. Doesn't that sound like a blast?!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Apologizing, Rachel style.
Warning, bad word ahead.
Apologizing SUCKS. If it were an activity on facebook, I wouldn't "like" it.
Whew, glad I could get that off my chest. What a bad post to start the new year off with, but I hoped maybe some of you have been in my predicament.
You see, a friend of mine and I had a bit of a spat - at least I think that's what happened. Maybe it was more of a misunderstanding or maybe my built up frustration was lashed out on the wrong person. Yea, it was probably a combination of both previously mentioned scenarios.
Basically, I have this horrible character flaw: admitting I'm wrong hardly ever happens. My mother has often told me I get it from my father.
Thus, the problem: admitting to my friend that I overreacted to his poor attempt at humor and should never have said those horrible things or slammed his truck door so violently.
Mental note: apologize to the Chevy.
But back to my attempted apology. I tried, really I did. The speech was in my head and ready to be shared with the other party. "Hey, remember the other day when I flipped out on you for being all those words I can't repeat on the internet? Well, you were out of line but there is also a chance that I might have taken my disgruntlement a wee bit too far."
Can you tell I've never been great at apologies? It never reached the ears of the one meant for it, which is probably a blessing since I see how horrible it really is. But why did it never reach the person intended? Because I refuse to apologize via voicemail and a text message apology has no tone. Perhaps he's mad at me too, which I kind of expected. After all, he already apologized to me... twice, yet I couldn't do the same. Hence, he doesn't answer the phone.
Maybe I'm old school, but that's just how I roll. So in the time I have before seeing him again, I have time to formulate the perfect apology.
There's no difference in formulating and Google-ing, right? Good.
Apologizing SUCKS. If it were an activity on facebook, I wouldn't "like" it.
Whew, glad I could get that off my chest. What a bad post to start the new year off with, but I hoped maybe some of you have been in my predicament.
You see, a friend of mine and I had a bit of a spat - at least I think that's what happened. Maybe it was more of a misunderstanding or maybe my built up frustration was lashed out on the wrong person. Yea, it was probably a combination of both previously mentioned scenarios.
Basically, I have this horrible character flaw: admitting I'm wrong hardly ever happens. My mother has often told me I get it from my father.
Thus, the problem: admitting to my friend that I overreacted to his poor attempt at humor and should never have said those horrible things or slammed his truck door so violently.
Mental note: apologize to the Chevy.
But back to my attempted apology. I tried, really I did. The speech was in my head and ready to be shared with the other party. "Hey, remember the other day when I flipped out on you for being all those words I can't repeat on the internet? Well, you were out of line but there is also a chance that I might have taken my disgruntlement a wee bit too far."
Can you tell I've never been great at apologies? It never reached the ears of the one meant for it, which is probably a blessing since I see how horrible it really is. But why did it never reach the person intended? Because I refuse to apologize via voicemail and a text message apology has no tone. Perhaps he's mad at me too, which I kind of expected. After all, he already apologized to me... twice, yet I couldn't do the same. Hence, he doesn't answer the phone.
Maybe I'm old school, but that's just how I roll. So in the time I have before seeing him again, I have time to formulate the perfect apology.
There's no difference in formulating and Google-ing, right? Good.
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